In My Skin
by Miss Confusion
Summary: Ginny Weasley was never really who they wanted her to be.  It was alot of pretending and faking. Now she can finally show her true colors.
1. Chapter 1

This one is for everyone who has ever reveiwed any of my stories. Do I really need to put a disclaimer in?

Please enjoy.

I'm thinking this might be a multi chapter poem staory about Ginny.

* * *

I never knew how I felt 

It was always how I was supposed to feel

Cue anger, feet are stomped and voice some nonsense objection

Cue happiness, smiles and cheers that really mean nothing

Cue sadness, crocodile tears and pouted lips

I never really had a good die

I mean day

Everyone was always pushing me

Pressuring me

"Stay away from my friends"

"Go do your homework"

"Come help me take out the trash"

I needed a respite

Then the diary came

I was far from innocent before the diary but this just gave me the extra push

This time I didn't mind the pressuring push

It was more of a nudge anyways

No one ever thought it was me

Malfoy

Hagrid

Some other unknown

Everything was going so well

I was finally starting to become myself

Abandoning all that false compassion and empathy that I had been force fed since birth

But of course all good things must come to an end.

Stupid bastard couldn't leave well enough alone

Had to "save me"

I didn't need saving

Tom was never going to actually kill me

I should know

I was his lover

Oh I can just imagine your face now

"His lover? At eleven? How twisted. How sick"

But it wasn't like that

He never took advantage of me

Not really

Not anymore then I wanted him to

I just understood him

He was just like me

When he died it felt like nothing in the world would ever be right again

How clichéd

But he promised he would never leave me for good

I trusted in that

So I used my time to develop a clean reputation

Good grades

Staying out of trouble

Kind and caring

Gentle and helpful

All together innocent and bashful

It made me sick to my stomach

But I knew it would come in handy

If I was to ever help Tom again I would need people to doubt my capacity for evil doing

It still made me sick

So fast forward a few years

A few years of wearing masks

A few years of biting my tongue

And a few years of sharing a room with that filthy mudblood

Disgusting

What irked me the most was that I received no appreciation for my good deeds

The golden trio ignored me

The older kids walked all over me

My own family took me for granted

Spit on and shoved to agree

Ignored

It was infuriating

Then Tom came back

It was heaven

And the "good guys" were in hell

* * *

There you go. Please review and have a very pleasant day 


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a while since there had been a true "Wealsley Talk"

Months if not years

That was to be expected

There had been no real emergencies since I was locked in the Chamber

And that had only warranted an owl to all of the family members

Not even all of them

Just my brothers

My brothers who were out of school that is

Fred, George and Percy had no idea

No idea until after school let out and they wanted to know why I was in therapy

There was no real concern involved

But now it was different

Everyone was afraid

Terrified in fact

Everyone that is except me

I was perfectly calm

Tom had told me he'd never leave me for good

He always kept his word

"I know everyone is very nervous right now.

This situation has got us all on pins and needles"

Father always trying to be strong for the family

Too bad he couldn't make enough money to keep his children decently clothed

"Your Father and I have decided to take the path that we both think is best for the family"

Too bad Mother hardly ever had an un-selfish thought in her head

Her addiction to shopping had often caused

weeks upon weeks of ever-thinning cabbage soup

The only reason they were siding with Dumbledore was to keep their "family" alive

And by family I mean meal ticket

We're so low income that they receive a check each month for each child

It's supposed to be enough to keep us fed and clothed

But it ends up being enough for broken light bulbs and another new purse

"We're going to be moving in with The Order"

That was expected

Every Death Eater on earth must know where we live

The muggle-loving Wealseys would make prime targets

The Order though…

I suppose that's what the ass-kissing wanna-be heroes are calling themselves these days

How very…

Well let's be honest now,

That sounds so grand.

Like there going to save the world and still remain humble

Charming

But as my mind was wondering I seem to have missed half of the conversation

"So how do you feel about that Ginny Darling?"

As I looked up in to the seemingly anxious eyes of my parents I realized something

They weren't really concerned about my feelings about moving in with "The Order"

Moving in with the mudbloods and muggle lovers

I shiver in disgust

But I digress

They were just concerned that I would throw a tantrum of some sort

That I would pout

and cry

and beg not to go

Like I was a child

"Well if you think that it's the best for all of us…"

I can't believe that came out of my mouth.

Disgusting isn't it?

What a sugary-sweet-goody-two-shoes-perfect-child answer

I know that once we get to the headquarters it will be awful

It will be cramped

and dirty

and full of people

People

How awful

I'll probably end up catching some degenerative muggle disease

I can only hope that everyone else catches it

And they die before I do

So that I will be able to watch them be as disgusting

and filthy

and in as much pain as they deserve to be

Everyone has left the room

I was daydreaming about them dying again and I missed the rest of the

"we're-doing-this-for-your-own-good" talk

What a Shame

I could do with a good laugh


	3. Chapter 3

This one is for every one who reveiwed

I have nothing, these characters are not my own, hell, this isn't even my computer

* * *

"The Order's" head quarters are beautiful

The place just screams dark magic.

Literally

The first night the portrait in my room actually screamed that.

I laughed myself to sleep

But as soon as we arrived everyone else started streaming in.

Hermione-filthy mudblood

Snape-worthless traitor

Tonks-sideshow freak

Remus-monster

Sirius-wimpy mutt

Moody-insane…that's all I have really. He's just a fucking nutter

Priceless characters.

Snape is bonking Hermione

while she carries on a bit of a tryst with Ron

I hope someone else finds out so I can watch the mayhem unfold

How could I possibly know this you ask?

Easy

I can go largely unnoticed

I guess it's kind of sad that people can just forget about me with such practiced ease

But it's so useful that I don't mind in the least

Being forgotten is better then being harassed

Well it's better than being harassed by these creatures

I caught them going at it in an empty bedroom while everyone was having dinner.

I was attempting to read "forbidden" books

Without awkward questions and shocked faces

"What are you reading?"

"Ginerva, that book is entirely inappropriate for you to read"

"I'm quite concerned that it might be too dark for such a sweet girl like you"

"Why ever are you even looking at that book?"

_I think_

Because I want to be the most powerful deatheater to ever live

_But I say_

"So I can know what we're going up against"

I've become quite accustomed to lying my way out of any situation

But getting back on topic

I had been looking for a quite place to read when I heard moaning coming from the room next to me

Being as naturally curious as I am I decided to investigate.

What I saw was shocking to say the least

Snape on top of Granger

Pounding into her

While she was tied down and moaning like a whore

Well not really like a whore because she is a whore but anyways

That was not the most shocking part

The most shocking part was that Snape was dressed up

In women's clothing

I swear to God I almost died

They didn't even notice me there

So hilarious

But I left quietly because I was becoming very very nauseous

A few days later I heard Ron talking to Bill

Talking about how he and Hermione had been going out for a month now

and how she was the most caring

and how she was the most faithful

and how she was the most loyal girl he ever meet

I was laughing so hard I cried

But as of now there are more important things happening in the headquarters of

"**The Mighty Order"**

Everyone is waiting anxiously for Potter to arrive.

Hell even I've asked a few times when he will be here

But that was just for show

Mostly for show

I also wanted to be prepared to behave in a reasonable fashion

Reasonable fashion meaning that I will restrain myself from murdering him

But the thought is ever so tempting

He should be here any minute

They've sent a guard who will be retrieving him at his Aunt and Uncles house

They've lured away his relatives under the false pretense of winning some sort of award

They will be traveling on broom sticks

Hell I even know what route they're taking

For a secret society they're not too good at the "secret" part of it

I guess Sirius didn't know about the secret passages in his own home

His loss


	4. Chapter 4

This site messes up my format, if you want to see this how it's supposed to be written message or e-mail me

* * *

Well, well, well

What do we have here?

Saint Potter

How nice of you to drop by.

How we all missed you so.

We missed your jarring voice

Your hideous face

Your undeserved sense of entitlement

How all together you make me want to vomit

I'm so glad he's not in my year

St. Potters arrival was a bit latter then expected

Apparently Moody made them take some outrageous detours

Too bad Potter didn't fall off when they were flying at some very high altitude

Alas

As soon as he arrived he was shepherded off to Ron's room

Where Hermione happened to be

They were hemhem talking

Nearly seconds after Potter arrived the screams started

For a second I was quite hopeful

But then I realized it was just Harry being hormonal

After it quieted down a bit I decided it was time to make my appearance

"Hi Harry"

Go Die

If I hadn't dropped by Ron and the Mudblood would have been on my case relentlessly

"Why didn't you say hi?"

"You haven't seen him in weeks"

"You are really being disrespectful"

And so on and so forth

As it were they scolded me for daring to approach St. Potter

"He needs his space"

"Don't go bugging him he's been through enough already"

"He doesn't need you following him around"

That's the thanks I get for being civil

Aren't they kind?

After my short stay at Chez Un-appreciation Dinner was called

Disgusting as always

But there was some excitement

At last

When the meal was over Sirius opened "the discussion"

Voldemort and what not

I was forced to leave

I pouted and stomped up the stairs

I snuck out of my room through one of the secret passages

I hid in the empty pantry that doubles as a passage door

As they say,

Little pitchers have big ears

I think it's marvelous that they know nothing

That's right

Nothing

Tom is tricky but COME ON

Even I've worked out more then these chumps

And we're even working from the same material

Jesus

How dense can you be?

Everyone at the table was left unsatisfied

Everyone but me

It's always fun to laugh at the dumb ones

Cleaning this house is exhilarating

I get to be a house elf

Just like I dreamed

Oh please put me out of my misery

I swear if that

Stupid

Mudblood

Bitch

even _mentions_ SPEW

once

more

I will Crucio until she's like the Longbottoms

"Ginny darling, come ehlp Mummy with lunch"

You hardly need fattening you stupid whore

"Yes Mum, I'll be right there"

I sound like a spineless wimp

Hopefully I will be able to get out of here soon

If I have to deal with _one_ more

"not-now-Ginny's-too-young" glance

Someone's gonna die

* * *

REVIEW

OR ELSE


	5. Chapter 5

JulieMalfoyZabini

The Creatress

madigan98298

Kitty Black Cat

Devil-gurl666

Maxie1514

gineveramalfoy1894

DL

Those people make my heart beat faster faster

There have been some complaints that my chapters aren't long enough.

I agree.

But when I write I like to find nice places to stop and if I start writing for length rather then for quality then I will be screwed. So DEAL WITH IT

In case you haven't noticed there are some hidden song lyrics. If you can find them I will be very very impressed

To give you a bit of a hint- think My Chemical Romance, Say Anything …I'll try to put more in…

* * *

I can hardly take this

All of this hope

Smiling so much has left a nasty taste in my mouth

Standing on this platform I wonder if life would be so much more fulfilling if I had their same attitude.

All of the joy and happiness from life they seem to get.

Nah

Not my style

I'd rather push someone off

So here we are, once again, running late for the train

Are we ever on time?

Well at least we got here before the train actually left.

That's a plus

I suppose

I try to edge away from my relations in an attempt to distance myself from their sickeningly sweet dispositions.

I'm caught

"Ginny, why don't you sit with Neville?"

Oh

Nevermind,

They didn't want to sit with me themselves they just wanted me to help the charity case

"I promised Lunea I'd sit with her" I mumble desperately hoping that they wouldn't-

"Why don't you two come sit with Neville?"

Shit

Now I have to make up some stupid excuse to avoid a situation that would be entirely too awkward and tireing

"We have…girl stuff to talk about…"

And I turn and leave.

Despite what I say I don't go looking for Loony.

Even though she is the one student in this blasted school towards whom I have some fondness

I go looking for Malfoy

Draco Malfoy

* * *

I know It's short even for me. There will be another chapter out after I've read the 7th book. Right now I can't force anymore out 


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